Throw something at the next poster

First topic message reminder :

This was really popular in an old forum I used to be a part of, so I'm bringing it here.

You throw something at the next poster, and the next person that posts has to describe how they dodged/blocked/got hit by the object the last person threw. Get it? Good.

I throw an emoticon at the next poster.

first of, 1 glass = drunk.

I catch the shovel in my mouth and spit it at the next poster.

the shovel hit your brain instead and i throw your dead body at the next poster

His dead body lands on me.
I throw a huge, dirty pair of underpants at the next poster.

i burn your briefs and throw a house at the next poster

I sell the house for $300000. I throw a TV at the next poster

I watch the tv as it's flying towards me.
I throw a car at the next poster.

i take the TV and watch midgets sing
and throw Marilyn Manson at the next poster

He runs away fearing you.
I throw a calculator at the next poster.

i use the calculotor and found out E=MC2 and uses that formula to kill the next poster

Crap i died cant throw

lol

I catch the lol.
I throw a toilet sign at the next poster.

i eat the toilet sign and i throw a Twilight book at the next poster

reads the book and throws it at a monkey (aka next poster)

Nintendo is a retard for posting twice twice in a row still cant throw

i resurect js from the dead so he doesnt b**** about it anymore and i throw him at the next poster

I just got thrown at myself so it has no effect. I spit on the next poster

your spit missed so i throw a violin at the next poster

I hit the violin with a cinderblock i throw a guitar at the next poster

i play the guitar with no experience and throw a clarinet at the next poster

The horn part of the clarinet goes over my face and nearly suffocates me.
I throw a lightning bolt at the next poster.

I greb the lightning bolt and eat it then i through an elephant, a car, a house, the hulk, and Optamis Prime at the next poster (i cant see how they wont die!)

I get in the house and the car falls in the garage, the elephant falls in the back yard, the Hulk falls in the living room and onto a couch and optimus prime transforms into a truck or whatever and also falls in the garage. OH YEAH!
I throw a sack full of bowling balls at the next poster.

I grab the sack of bowling balls and take out a bowling ball and through it away and take the other 99 bowling balls and throw them at the next poster

I grab another sack and they all go in it. I chuck that away though.
I throw an ugly baby at the next poster.